The Wacky World of World Cup Predictions: 2014 Brazil Edition
Looking at the groups this go-around, we have some pretty entertaining matchups, especially 2010’s finalists facing off on day two of the whole shebang, helluva way to kick it off! Our bracket, like any really exciting one, has a few upsets brought on by a mix of bias, patriotism, daydreams, and maybe a dash of good old fashioned scorn. Anyway, we’ve hashed it out and slapped it down, so here it is, whether you like it or not! Excuse us for circumventing group play and diving right into bracket conjecture, we’re just really excited!
Brazil’s got to make it out of group play because, let’s face it, it’d be unbecoming for them not to. They knock out the Netherlands, who makes it to the bracket behind the other Group B heavy weight, Spain (Chile puts up a good fight, unlike the Aussies, but just can’t keep up). Oranje losing influential midfielder Kevin Strootman to a knee injury is devastating.
Columbia gets shocked in group play by both the highly improved and determined Japanese team and the most likely the lone African team with a real chance, Ivory Coast. Greece just didn’t have the scoring power this time. So the Blue Samurai goes on to vanquish the squad from Uruguay, who is just glad to squeak by a lackluster English team to grasp Group D’s second position.
France skates through E Group and barely breaks a sweat against Nigeria (or Bosnia-Herzegovina, or Iran; F Group was a toss up after Argentina), some things are just too obvious to deny.
The German power “haus” slugs it out with fellow shoo-in Belgium, but with an incredibly deep roster, Die Mannschaft breaks the Belgians in the end.
Spain pops Mexico, who outplays Croatia in the groups despite having had a tough year. Cameroon is simply over its head in Group A and is readily dispatched.
Italy tries to atone for their last World Cup performance but gets upset by the Ivory Coast Elephants because, c’mon, with Didier Drogba and Yaya Toure there is always a chance?
Argentina gets lazy slapping around its group opponents and almost hits a brick wall in its first real matchup against a tough and proven Ecuador. Argentina advances.
With Dempsey leading the charge, Team U.S.A. somehow leaves Portugal out in the cold, let’s say via goal differential, and walks into the most nostalgic of grudge matches. Reagan beat Gorbachev. Rocky beat Drago. The U.S. beats Russia.
The quarterfinals see a new face enter the arena in the Japanese National Football Team, a face that is soundly bloodied by the charging Brazilians. Earlier that day we watched a truly spectacular match between France and Germany. By one goal, or maybe even a shoot-out, the Germans vanquish Les Blues! The next day the veteran heavy U.S. team puts away Leo Messi and los Albicelestes for good. In the same day, Spain makes short work of World Cup bracket newbies, Ivory Coast.
On July 8th, Germany meets the local boys for a showcase of talent with the Germans coming out on top. The next day, the U.S. breaks through to the semifinals for the first time since 1930 by toppling La Roja…not this time, Spain!
The bid for third place goes to the home team this time around as Brazil sends Spain packing back across the pond. And the contest ends with an absolute blitzkrieg on our poor old Yanks, full of heart but short on talent compared to this World Cup’s champion team, Germany!
Author: M. Provost
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